


Supplication

by paradisedise



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-01 07:09:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10183682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradisedise/pseuds/paradisedise
Summary: Missing someone is a funny thing, because one second you’re distracted and feeling alright, and then a moment later the weight of their absence is suffocating, they’re so distinctly not there and you feel like you can’t breathe, can’t look at anyone, can’t even live in your own skin.





	

Missing someone is a funny thing, because one second you’re distracted and feeling alright, and then a moment later the weight of their absence is suffocating, they’re so distinctly not there and you feel like you can’t breathe, can’t look at anyone, can’t even live in your own skin. In moments like that nothing is comforting, nothing can make you feel even the slightest bit better besides them. In those moments all you want to do is lay down and curl up and never rise, clutching at the emptiness they’ve left until you muster the strength to breathe. It’s hard for Hansol to articulate this, though, especially when the person he needs lives almost exclusively on the screen of his cell phone. 

A text tone snapped him out of whatever melancholic daze he was stuck in. He was exhausted from dance practice but more exhausted by the solitude that has accompanied him for the past weeks, taunting him. Hansol tried his best to distract himself by working himself to the bone, practicing choreographies that were mind-numbingly challenging, slaving away in the studio, and jetting overseas for workshops. Going to Japan made him feel worse, though, because it reminded Hansol of him. His limbs were tired but he reached for his phone anyway, hopeful. The message was from the only person he could care about at the moment. 

No schedule tonight. 

Hansol exhaled a breath that he felt like he had been holding in for months, years. 

Come over? 

He stared at the screen, hopeful. 

I’ll be there later. 

Hansol felt lighter, relief flowing through him. All he needed to do was get through the next few hours, just a few hours and he would be able to see him. He would be able to breathe him in, to leave goosebumps in the wake of his fingers on his skin, to hold him until all of the loneliness that plagued him melted away. Yuta had been busy lately with promotions, working from the early hours of the morning until he could hardly keep his eyes open. Hansol missed him so much and he knew Yuta missed him as well. He got up despite the protest of his body and kept dancing, he kept dancing because he wanted time to pass faster. 

A shower was much needed once Hansol returned to his dorm, separate from the members that had already debuted. The agency forcing him to live alone was like another slap to the face, as if watching units after units debut without him wasn’t enough. Living with the rest of them would probably be worse, though, as he would have to see them exhausted daily and wish he could have a taste of that enervation. The water hitting his back was relaxing and stood there for some time, feeling like he could fall asleep right there. He couldn’t, though, because he would be here soon. 

Hansol stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, slipping into a t-shirt and shorts. He was so excited to see Yuta that it was hard to relax, so he settled for pacing around his room until he heard the distinct rap of knuckles on the door. Hansol had to restrain himself from running to the door. When he opened it, Yuta was becoming in front of him and Hansol felt like he could cry.

“Yuta,” he breathed, pulling the smaller man into his dorm and enveloping him an embrace, feeling bits of his stress fragmenting off, lifting some of the weight off of Hansol’s shoulders. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby.” 

Hansol wished so badly that he could tell Yuta how he felt, how Yuta felt like salvation and grace and mercy and that Hansol ached for him, ached for his company and his touch and his affection. Hansol had always been bad at talking, though, often finding himself with uninvited lumps in his throat that prevented him from getting a word out. Yuta knew this and he always told Hansol that it was okay, that he knew how much Hansol loved him, even without poetic confessions. Hansol felt incompetent anyways. Yuta was incredible, clever and beautiful with a sharp tongue but not without a knack for making Hansol feel like the only person on earth. Yuta deserved the world and Hansol prayed that he could give it to him, somehow. 

Hansol turned his head to rest in the crook of Yuta’s neck, breathing in the faint smell of soap. Yuta probably just got home from whatever schedule they had today and was freshly showered. He squeezed him a little tighter. “Are you tired?”

“Not too tired,” Yuta hummed, cheek pressed to Hansol’s shoulder. “Are you?”

“A little, but I’m never too tired for you.” 

Yuta pulled back from the hug, that heartbreakingly gorgeous smile adorning his face. Hansol wanted to tell him how it made his love-swollen heart do backflips but the words were stuck in his chest. He pulled Yuta towards his bedroom, hoping he got the picture. 

Yuta followed, silently, eyes not leaving Hansol’s face. Yuta had this way about him that made Hansol feel so exposed, so vulnerable, like any facade he had built was violently torn down. The look in Yuta’s eyes made Hansol want him, so badly. Hansol was grateful when Yuta reached up to kiss him, because he wasn’t sure he could have moved in that moment. 

Yuta’s lips met his and Hansol could finally breathe. Meeting Yuta was like fate for Hansol. They met for the first time when they were trainees and Hansol was floored from day one. Yuta was smaller than him, nervous and stumbling over Korean. It was painfully endearing and Hansol wanted to protect him, to help him find his way in a foreign country. They slowly grew closer, spending hours in the dance studio together and Hansol watched Yuta grow, watched him become more confident in speaking and in the way he moved. He came to realize that in no way was Yuta the shy person he first appeared to be. Instead he was funny, hilarious even, and he made Hansol laugh harder than he had in who knows how long. He was soft though, when he needed to be, when Hansol was tired, broken, and needed help putting himself back together. In those moments Yuta would run a soothing hand over his spine and whisper words of affirmation until Hansol felt like he could stand again. 

It wasn’t long before Hansol started to want Yuta in a different way, a more intimate way. He thanked his lucky stars when Yuta wanted him back the same. 

It was Hansol who deepened the kiss, asking Yuta to let him in closer so he could feel him completely, taste him and lose himself in him. Yuta obliged, opening his mouth, and Hansol held Yuta tighter, not letting go as they staggered towards the bedroom. 

“God, I missed you so much, I’m so happy you’re here,” Hansol murmured, not really sure what he was saying. He was feeling too much, the compressed emotions he didn’t even know were there bubbling to the surface, seeping into the smaller man’s skin. Yuta giggled and Hansol’s heart twisted. 

Yuta took the initiative again and sat on the bed, scooting back so his head was on Hansol’s pillow, and Hansol wanted to steal the moment and lock it away forever. He knew that Yuta was hurting just as much as he was, just as desperate for the other and that made Hansol feel warm. Yuta was a little more aloof than Hansol, would never admit it, but he could tell from the pinkness of his cheeks and the way his fingers twisted in Hansol’s shirt. Yuta reached up to Hansol and pulled him down close, until their lips were just breaths apart. 

“I love you, so much.” 

That was all Hansol needed to hear in order to take Yuta’s lips in his again, not wasting any time. Yuta hummed, content with how Hansol was kissing him. The larger man was losing control, too absorbed in him. Hansol slipped his fingers under Yuta’s shirt, easing it up so Yuta would get the idea. 

He did, and he took no time sliding his shorts off as well. Hansol’s mouth was dry, watching him reveal his skin little by little. “I love you,” he whispered, needing to say it. 

“I want you.” 

Yuta killed him, and he didn’t even know. 

Hansol latched onto Yuta’s neck, shameless, licking into the ridges of his clavicle and down past his belly button. Yuta was aroused and it made Hansol’s mouth water. Hansol came back up to Yuta’s mouth but took him in his hand, the warmth between them beginning to drive him insane. Yuta whined and Hansol knew he wanted more, so he reached into the bedside table drawer and grabbed lube, warming it up on his fingers and slipping one inside Yuta. The noise that slipped from his lips was soft but far from demure, resonant with need. Hansol was kissing him hard to distract from the sting of preparation but Yuta didn’t mind, twisting salaciously underneath him, begging for more, for it to hurt. 

Hansol couldn’t help but oblige, slipping two fingers in, then three, until Yuta grabbed his wrist and pushed it away, impatient. So he fell into him, exhaling shakily. His love’s eyes were squeezed shut and he was breathing heavily. Hansol knew it hurt, but he knew Yuta took it, loved it because he loved him. Hansol thought back to the first time they did this, when they were both stumbling over the newness of each other’s bodies, shaking with nervousness. It was awkward, but so special, and Hansol was forever grateful that he could experience something so intimate with someone so beautiful. 

“Move, please.” 

Hansol pulled back and pushed forward and a breathy sound came from the man underneath him so he did it again, and again. He leaned down to kiss him and he brought one hand up to rest on the side of his face. Yuta’s hands came up to press against Hansol’s back, nails digging into his skin and Hansol groaned, savoring the feeling. He was falling apart so quickly and so was Yuta if the flush spreading across his face and chest was any indication. Hansol reached down between them, wanting Yuta to feel good, to finish first. Another sound came out of Yuta’s mouth and Hansol was getting close, so close. 

Yuta finished first with a shuddering moan and Hansol wasn’t far behind, releasing into Yuta and collapsing on top him, spent. The smaller man reached up to lace his fingers in Hansol’s hair and they both laid there, catching their breath. Their time together was short, but it was enough. It had to be. Hansol knew that in the morning Yuta would have to wake up early and go back to work and Hansol would be left picking up the pieces of himself again, but that was alright. Right now all that mattered was that he was so desperately in love with Yuta, and Yuta was just as crazy for him. Right now he breathed Yuta in and savored him, hoping he could make him feel loved in all the ways he deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> ofc i meant to write fluff and it turned angsty...
> 
> comments and kudos appreciated!


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